Shine My Rusty Halo
I won this battle
But have not yet won the war
I will defeat my disease
And vow to never be the man I was before
I am anxious to open a new door
I know now happiness is in store,
I will win the war
I came here to change my ways
When I got here, it was all a haze
I had shot dope for too many days,
F*** shooting dope, it never pays.
I have learned to change my ways
I have too much heart
To let the dope tear me apart
I’ve learned that happiness is in the heart
I can’t buy it, drink it, smoke it, snort it, or shoot it,
Happiness is found in ones inner self.
This disease, addiction, I will carry until I’m dead
A wise man told me,
Don’t let it rent space in my head
I have changed for no one but myself
Through sobriety, I will gain so much wealth.
Now I’m alive and the ghosts are gone,
I’ve shed all the pain, I’ve been holding on
I realize the pain drugs make
Now I learn from my mistakes
I had before found pleasure in pain
Never again will I stick that vein
It was the pleasure of drugs I yearned,
But pain was the only thing I earned
Through MRT – this has been learned
Written by Mike Graduate
Glad I Made this Decision
I have learned a lot about myself after returning after my relapse. The group and MRT program helped me to better understand what I had missed during my initial stay. I can now say that I am glad I made the decision to come back and go through this program because there is not a better program available or a more determined staff to help you. I know now that I have to do this for myself, and that I am responsible for my own goals and my own final outcome. But this time I am in it for the whole program and I know that with the caring staff and the MRT steps I will make it.
This Facility Has Saved My Life
Since I have been here I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned that there is life after addiction and that you can have a life that can have meaning and purpose without the use of drugs and alcohol. The staff here has been so much help to me and making me realize that I can be anything that I want to be if I just clean up my life from the drugs. This was really hard at the beginning, but, day after day it got better and I could begin to see the picture of a drug free me.
The MRT program that I went through is the best thing that anyone that has a drug problem could ever do if they want to get off the drugs. It saved my life. It made me a whole person again. I do believe that without the staff and the MRT program I would not be where I am today. Life is good again. I know that I have still got a ways to go, but, thanks to the staff and this facility I now know that I can and will make it . Thank you for giving my life back to me, I will be forever grateful to everyone.
This Program Has Done So Much
I feel that the program here has changed my life. Before coming I was lonely, depressed and suicidal thoughts were entering my mind almost daily. Nothing I did made me happy anymore. After doing my blue book it was like a great weight being lifted off my shoulders. Then I went over my book with my case manager Joe, and I was able to let go of my whole past. No longer constantly worrying and rehashing things that happened years ago that I can’t do anything about.
Next I read the first sixteen chapters of the MRT educational book. That gave me such an understanding of why I was feeling the way I was. I could not be truly happy unless my personality mistaken my true inner self. Also the excess baggage I had carried around my whole life constantly and beating myself up daily with it. There is nothing I can do to change what I’ve done, just learn from it and move on.
The twelve steps gave me a deeper understanding of who I was and where I was going. From being honest with everyone all the time to helping others. Making goals and maintaining my sobriety became so much clearer. Reintroducing God back into my life has given me something I have been missing for a long time. The journey I did with Todd helped me dig up further issues that did not come out in the blue book. I’m also looking forward to the Theophostic prayer with Marie, after hearing other clients’ experiences.
I feel that this program has done so much more for me than any other program that I have gone through or explored before coming here. Thank you so much.
I Was a Lost Soul
When I got there I was a lost soul and person. Just as soon as I got here I realized all the great people that actually cared. Dealing with other clients and people already in recovery, having multiple years, opened my eyes to knowing it was truly possible to get better. The self inventory was a great way to get thoughts flowing, thinking out things, that may or may not have something to do with my addiction. It helped me put some of my issues on the table that I would never share with other people, especially strangers. By presenting to someone in recovery, I felt like they knew where I was coming from. The chapters and steps in MRT helped me a great deal also. It helped me get my shame and sorrow out there only to build me back up later on in the steps. I feel like a totally different person since arriving. I feel I have the tools to go out there and stay sober and be happy doing it. Every single person that I have dealt with there was a God send to me and my recovery.
I Learned A Lot Here
Since being here I have been able to realize a lot of things about myself. I’ve changed a lot and I’m serious about recovery. I’ve got past a lot of issues that I did not even realize were affecting my addiction, but now I realize they were. Through the process of the MRT steps I learned a lot about what I want in life. I have clear cut goals to strive for when I get out. I’m positive and upbeat and I’ve learned how to manage my depression. I’ve discovered triggers and how to overcome them and most of all I’ve realized that I can have fun sober. I look forward to my new life of sobriety and all the positive things that can happen without the use of drugs and alcohol.
I’ve Fallen Into Believing Again
I learned a lot while there. After a long life of frustration and pain when tears felt like fire and my heart raged with anger. Well, I’m able to say I didn’t go to to blame no one, I didn’t want to share the blame for what I had done. Because it was my history, my childhood, and my future that must be sorted out. Sometimes I get into a quest and forget myself and why my life was so lost. When I was able to listen to others and feel their calling for trust. I heard Paul’s past was not any different from mine, because he suffered just as I did. Then I heard Jan, and this was another story that I related to.
Soon I found that just about everyone was just like me in some way. So it became easier for me to settle in and listen to my journey and Kevin fed my soul with food to learn, and even Dr. Dave seems to just be there steady and calm, turns out he’s got a cheerful side. I can’t say a word less than good about this place and its staff. I came here unable to shed tears and look to the future for hope, but now today each and every day is a piece of gold.
I know I’ve fallen into dreams, that I can dream now, I know I fallen into believing again, and I do believe. I never really lived before and now I can live I can believe, I can dream, I can now shed tears and feel. Because now I am free. Now I will close and tell each of you that I love you all. The program works. But its has to come from you…within yourself…reaching for the ability to be free.
Clean and Sober with a New Outlook on Life
My husband and I just wanted to say thank you, for giving our daughter back to us clean and sober. Three days before entering she was high on Xanax and driving drunk when she ran off the road and into a family’s yard hitting a propane tank beside the house that could have exploded killing her and the family inside the house. By the grace of God no one was injured. She called me at 2:30 am telling me she was in an accident. At this point, I had reached the end of my rope with her. But her father said he was going to check on her, he had to make sure she was OK.
I began to pray asking God to help her and the officer that was there to take favor on her and see the good that was in my daughter. You see my daughter wanted to be a police officer and was in college for criminal justice before the pills and alcohol took control of her life and she dropped out of college. The officer told my husband he had a sister in the same place as our daughter. His sister was an addict too. He found favor in my daughter that night and told her if she agreed to get help and turn her life around that he would not give her a felony for DUI.
Two days later she was on a plane. She stayed through the entire program and really take it serious and turned her life around. Now she is home clean and sober with a totally new outlook on life. She is thinking of changing her major. She now wants to help those people that’s lives are bound by addiction to get clean. You helped her to find herself again, and we all cannot say thank you enough.
W.B. & K.B. 07/09/10
I Want to Be a Better Mom
In withdrawal I learned a lot. The most scary thing to me was seeing how many young people are having drug problems. Being a mom, it really opened my eyes. I prayed every night for help and finally my prayers had been answered. I am very thankful to be here and intend on seeing the treatment program 100% all the way. I want to be a better mom, wife, daughter and person. Withdrawal wasn’t as bad as I thought, I feel really good now, and just knowing that I don’t need anything to feel good or be able to function means so much to me. So thanks a lot withdrawal team. I’m feeling good and ready for the next step to get better.
I was Confused about Everything
When I first got to treatment I was nervous and didn’t want to be away from home. I was confused about everything. My life, how this happened to me, how I ended up here, and what was going to happen now. Once I got to know people, the staff who was so impressive and personnel, the other people that were here for drugs and alcohol that I could relate to, I began to feel a lot better. All of the staff was very friendly and helpful when I wasn’t feeling too good. Richie made me laugh a lot and was really easy to relate to. I’m glad I got to meet him and so many other people from different places. Now I can’t wait to get started with classes and focus on the future.
I Figured I was Meant to Live and Die a Junkie
When I first arrived here I truly felt as if there was no hope for me. I figured I was meant to live and die a junkie. I’d been down every street that I never wanted to travel on. I made myself sick. I was selfish and worthless. I didn’t think there was a life without heroin. I gave this program a chance; knowing that I had nothing to lose.
I learned here that there really is happiness out there if you just give yourself the chance to experience it. If there was ever a promise I could make and keep, it’s that. There really is a new life out there once you put down the drugs. Absolutely anything is possible if you can just find the courage to love and trust yourself. Once you are as low as you can go, how much more can you really lose? You deserve another chance, so give it to yourself.
I Am Not Perfect
I am a human being, a spiritual being having a human experience. I am an addict, a person with a problem, not a mental deficiency. I am responsible for my recovery, not my addiction. I recognize that I have a lot of issues to work on, but I do know that I’m not alone and that I can get better. I remind myself that I am not perfect. While I still have no idea who I am, I do believe I am a good person and that if I stay clean and keep progressing I will eventually find out. I want to find out who I am rather than die of addiction.
Norman B. 01/17/10
Drug Addiction Prison
I’ve learned so much about myself here. The self inventory helped me realize stuff way back in my past really bothered me a lot. The MRT was great and I found it fascinating learning about the prison I had locked myself in and how to escape it. I’ve seen myself all over the teachings about personality and my inner self.
Problems Caused by Drug & Alcohol Abuse
The addiction treatment program taught me that all my problems in life were caused by my drug and alcohol use and that I now have a choice. The inventory showed me where my addiction began and what may have caused it. It allowed me to get some things out that I was holding inside of me and the MRT was good for me. In the beginning, I didn’t think I was capable of doing the work but by pushing myself, it has given me a great reward. I now have goals to shoot for and I am learning to listen to my inner self. I have always been there but the drugs and alcohol have made it hard to listen to. I now know the right things that I should do.
Willing to Change
At the beginning of the treatment program, I was not willing to change, but as I have gone through the program, I come to realize what is important in my life. I need to do it for myself to become a stronger individual.
James G. 08/11/09
It Feels Great to be Clean and Sober
I made the decision to come to an unknown facility with an unknown destination. I walked into the facility not knowing what to expect. I have never been taken out of my element before. During my flight to Detroit, a thousand things ran through my mind. I have never been to drug rehab. With my mind going a mile a minute thinking to myself how does drug rehab work? What does this place look like? Are the people like me? How long am I going to be there? I was so scared, thinking to myself what the hell have I got myself into.
One thing I was sure of, I finally got to kick these pills. I knew that it wasn’t going to be pretty, but I was ready. I definitely went through hell. It took damn near three weeks before I fully recovered. I didn’t sleep for six days, or eat either. It took everything out of me to get motivated to do basic things. My mom has always said that I am hard headed and I have to learn the hard way, I definitely learned a hard lesson.
Everything I went through to get where I am at today was so worth it, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I needed this experience to change my ways. I can honestly stand here today and say it feels great to be clean and sober, and it would not be possible without the program.
Crystal J. 05/07/09
My Personality Had Been Running my Life
I grew up while being at recovery. I was a very scared, tired, angry and lonely little girl. My mind was entangled but by working the steps I can honestly say I am in a state of grace. I experienced it as a sense of serenity, inner light and quiet peacefulness. In the MRT book I found out that I’m not crazy but instead that my personality had been running my life. My inner self was on the back burner. While at the facility, I put my inner self and personality in sequence and now they are one. I am truly a different person. I have restored my sanity. I have the staff and clients to thank for my second chance at life.
Addiction Treatment is What I Needed
The addiction treatment program has done a lot for me and it is what I have needed for so long. I know if you work at it then this program will work. Now that I have finished this program I am ready to start my clean new life and move on. I enjoy waking up everyday clean and sober and just being healthy. This is the way I have wanted to live for so long. Since I have gone through the steps I really know who my inner self is and learning all the new things. Doing my inventory has helped me deal with a bunch of problems that I had. I just want to say thank you to the program.
The Difference Between my Inner-Self and Personality
Before coming to the program, I was living my life through my personality and learned the difference between my inner-self and personality. If I can stay focused on my recovery by attending N-A and meeting with a CT therapist weekly, along with a sponsor, I should be able to keep myself away from the people, places and things that have led me to use in the past. The self inventory and MRT really helped me to look at my self and the issues in my life which have caused me to use. The recovery treatment was a great program, not like any other that I have experienced.
Open Mind, Listen and Get Better
I’ve come along way since I got to the facility. When I pulled up to the front of the building, I thought this place looked like something out of a Friday the 13th movie. I met Boston Todd from security and he seemed pretty cool. After he went through my stuff and took away half of my toiletries he walked me over to the withdrawal house. I thought to myself, I’ve really messed up to get myself here.
The first night of sleep wasn’t that BAD. Whitney made me some tea and I went right to sleep. The next three days were a living nightmare. I was super angry and trying to think of anyway to get back home. My attitude stunk and one of the nurses said “how are you feeling” and I said “I’m hurting from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, if you really want to know.” She went and got Morris and he brought me downstairs to his room for a one on one. He gave me some tough love, told me “I talked to your dad and you’re not going home, this program works and the food sucks.” By the next morning I was ready to do this, have an open mind, listen and get better . When I first got over to this side all the clients were so friendly and nice to me. So I thought hey, this program must work in some way or another. From the first class I went to that night with Keith, WOW.
Drinking is Not the Cure
Well, here is what happened to me while staying at the rehab. I found that drinking is not the cure I was looking for. It was the peripheral devices around that habit I learned to respect and recognize. The programs were the main support to sobriety. The round circle meetings-telling all, the steps-telling all, inventory-all important cleansing of the soul and excess baggage. At night the inner feelings with peers was important as well. The total approach was just perfect for me.
Letting My Inner Self Out
The rogram helped me deal with being shy, letting my inner self out and helping my inner self and personality become one to make me strong enough to do what I want in life. It made me realize that I don’t have to tell myself that I can’t do something when I’ve never even tried. The inventory helped me discover why I used and hopefully I can let that go, but for now I will be O.K. without using. The MRT has hopefully helped me to gain the relationships back that were good in my life and are going to help me in the long run, and a boost if I need it! I need to live life for what it gives me and deal with everything in a calm way no matter what happens!
Leave a reply
Your email address will not be published. Fields marked * are mandatory.